Long Distance Relationships Mean Always Getting to Say Hello
We’ve said goodbye in driveways, bus stations, and airports, in parking lots and on street corners.
Long distance relationships mean always having to say goodbye.
I remember the end of the first visit: I watched her walk down the sidewalk as the bus pulled out of the station, yanking me from her receding figure. As the countdown to our next reunion was reset to a dauntingly high number, the emotion was so raw, so overwhelming, that it seems impossible to describe without clichés or platitudes. Suddenly every mawkish pop song made sense – it makes you want to write bad poetry.
It’s not as devastating after almost three years, which I attribute to comfort rather than any abatement of emotion.
At the beginning, I was like a baby who mistook someone leaving my field of vision for ceasing to exist. *Sampe sekarang pun masih kayak gini .-. *
I had suffered a few bad experiences in the past and could only hope this would be different. It certainly felt different, but I still worried.
“How can I be apart from her?” I’d wonder.
“What if something changes? What if it’s never this good again?”
Now, I have faith. I know she’ll be back and the feeling will be back with her.
I just have to wait. We’ll be saying hello again soon.
Long distance relationships make you treasure the time you have together.
***
I take things for granted all the time: my health, job, good fortune, other people, Thanksgiving. But it’s easier to appreciate something when it’s in limited supply (one take away from a C- in Intro to Econ.). It’s like fondue. Have you ever had a fondue dinner? You cook each individual piece of your chicken or steak or whatever in a little pot of oil. It takes forever. When I did it, the entire meal was like a three-hour event and inordinately more satisfying. Whereas I usually remember to taste my food right around the time I’m frantically shoveling the final bite into my mouth, fondue forced me to savor each piece.
So long distance relationships are like fondue.
When we have an entire weekend together, I try to really relish it – to pause and think,
“Enjoy this. Enjoy this time right now, without worrying about the future or thinking about anything else.”
This is a new mindset for me and a definite improvement over the usual combination of future-dread/distraction that casts a pall over my free time and which involves a mental dialogue that goes, “Hmm this is pretty nice, I guess, but I can’t stop thinking about the fact that I have work tomorrow, and I have those freaking reports due, and isn’t there something better or more productive I could be doing right now? An – HEY WHAT’S THAT SHINY THING OVER THERE!?!”
The new mindset works. Our weekends feel like portals into an alternate world where we are together all the time, an endless cycle free from stress or fear. Where nothing can interrupt us or separate us or distract us.
Where we are the only two people that matter.
***
There are a lot of stigmas and fears around long distance relationships and I suppose it’s not for everyone.
But it has its perks, too. Every time I see her again after we’ve been apart, it’s like that first time I went back to visit her: all of the old emotions come rushing back. It’s like waking up to the first spring day after a long, cold winter.
We’ve said hello in driveways, bus stations, and airports, in parking lots and on street corners. Long distance relationships mean always getting to say hello.
***
Berasa baca diary sendiri. ~
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